Without my conscious connection to Source, there is so much to be afraid of in this world. Most often the fear comes in the form of what I think could happen. Not what will happen, just my projections of all the possible hurts and forms of harm that may come in living. When I am not aligned, I catalog all the awfulness, so I won’t ever be ambushed by life. Like whistling in the dark.
It is awkward to communicate to others how fear of events that have not come, but only live in the astral place of “could happen, has happened to others”, has me scrambling. Not merely because I worry they won’t understand, but more because they do. Few want to join me on the fear train, as it opens the doors to their own cache of horrors. This itemizing only sets up a chain of anxiety that leaves me breathless and feeling deserted.
The other reason for my reticence to tell on my fear is shame. I suffer from fancied self-reliance. Not ego; shame. I feel I should be more than I am.